The Times and Life of an ExMafia Housewife
by Shadow Dancer666
Summary: Now that Mello isn't in the Mafia anymore and he has his housewife duties, what is his daily life like? Crack, three-shot. MattxMello WARNINGS: foul language, smut, and violence
1. ExMafia

**YAY for a silly one-shot! I was inspired to do this while reading some MattxMello crack. I hope you guys enjoy a little break from the angst.**

**"The Times and Life of an Ex-Mafia Housewife"**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or any of it's characters.  
**

_**5:00 AM**_

The annoying sound of an alarm clock broke through the fog of sleep for a certain badass blond known as Mello. Rolling over to retrieve his gun, he paused as he remembered Matt making him hide his precious weapon across the room in the dresser.

"Fuck Matt," he groaned as he banged his head against an Egyptian cotton pillow. "If I was attacked, it's comforting to know that my only defense is across the damn room."

Looking over at his sleeping lover, he resisted the urge to slap him around some. The brunette needed his sleep since he was heading off to work soon enough. The soft sound of pale feet shuffling across the carpet accompanied Mello as he tried to figure out how to turn off their new alarm clock. The last one ended up thrown out the window. Mumbling curses, Mello just settled for yanking the cord out of the wall.

"There, take that bitch."

Heading towards the foot of the bed to search for his bathrobe, the loud crash of him running yet again into the chest at the foot of the bed only made Matt roll over in his sleep. Whimpering in pain, Mello limped to his side of the bed and searched for a few minutes before finding the much needed article of clothing. Slipping it on, he was careful to avoid the damnable chest on his way to the bathroom.

"I am so throwing that fucking thing out today," he grumbled as he blinked painfully at the sudden brightness of the bathroom lights. "We don't need it, so it's gone."

Looking down at his bruising leg, he winced and shook his head. He had run into that thing nearly every morning since Matt convinced him to get that thing, but enough was enough. His perfect legs were tired of being abused like that. Grabbing the green toothbrush, he moistened it and applied some cheap toothpaste. Grumbling, he twisted the cap off and washed it out yet again. That bum of a lover seemed to have difficulty keeping the thing clean and he never bothered cleaning his own messes. That's what a housewife was for, right? Damn right.

Staring at his reflection, Mello bemoaned the fact that he looked like an utter mess. What happened to the days where he could wake up gorgeous and flawless? Now? Gah, he looked like some hobo off the street. In all honesty, he was lying to himself. He still had the perfection he was born with, but it wasn't as interesting if he acknowledged that. Washing out his mouth and the toothbrush, he took a moment to relieve himself at the toilet. Matt forgot to keep the lip up yet again, but he was used to looking before he did anything for that exact reason. Living with an idiot was a little wearisome at times.

After he washed his hands, he pulled a brush through his well-kept blond hair. Opening up one of the drawers under the sink, he pulled out a few hair-pins before skillfully pinning his hair back in a half ponytail. He hated the way rubber bands left a crease and he needed to keep the hair out of his eyes, so bobby pins were the only solution. That and clips. Next, he washed his face, and then slipped on his bunny slippers (a gift from dearest idiot, Matt) before heading down the stairs towards the kitchen.

Once in his kitchen, Mello stretched out lazily and sauntered over to the stainless steel refrigerator. Eggs, milk, butter, and whipped cream were pulled out alongside bananas and strawberries. Pancake batter was pulled out from a cupboard as were the tools necessary to mix the ingredients. Yawning, he dumped the stuff into a bowl and mixed them lazily. Getting bored, he shoved the bowl onto his super mixer and let the machine mix the batter while he chopped up the fruits. Soon the bananas and some of the strawberries made their way into the mix. Once the fruit were in, he pulled the batter away from the machine and finished mixing by hand.

It didn't take long for the electric skillet to heat up, so he took the stick of butter and just ran it along the hot metal until it was coated to his taste. After dumping out some of the batter into imperfect circles, he headed back upstairs to wake up his darling. If he could just remember how to turn off the darn alarms then there wouldn't be a need to let the food burn while he woke up the sleepy head. Of course, he could have just waited to cook the pancakes _after_ waking Matt up, but that required more thought than his sleepy mind wanted to put into it.

"Matt, get your ass up," he commanded. Matt didn't even bother to roll over. "Bum, I said get your motherfucking ass out of bed." Still nothing. Time for his secret weapon. Grabbing a water bottle intended for spritzing hair or something else, he pulled the blankets away from Matt and began spraying him with water.

"Mnnnn, noooooooo," Matt whined as he tried to avoid the constant mist of water. "I don't wanna get up, Mello!"

"Tough luck, bud. You were the one who said, 'Oh Mello, I want to support you, let _me_ work while you stay home and rest'."

"Ugh, _I _said that?"

"Yep."

"Was I drunk?"

"Very much."

Leaning over, Mello planted a sweet kiss to his lover's wet cheek. "Come on, I've got pancakes cooking."

Just as he was heading down to the kitchen, a small cry from the bedroom next to the master bedroom caught his attention. Sighing, he made his way back up the stairs and entered the small room. A small pouting child looked through the bars of his crib as if he were imprisoned for the terrible crime of dirtying his diapers. Well, that wasn't too far from the truth.

"Are you up so early?" Mello asked sarcastically as he lifted the small child out. "You just want some of your dad's pancakes, right?"

"Mwah," was the only reply.

Smelling the now burning breakfast, Mello rushed down the stairs with the child in his arms. Balancing the little boy on his hip, he scraped the charred remains of food off the skillet and into the trash before reapplying butter and adding more batter. Balancing carefully on one foot, he used the other foot to drag the high chair closer to the stove.

"Mmm, shmelf good," Matt complimented as he reached the bottom of the stairs with a toothbrush still in his mouth.

"Matt, that's my toothbrush," Mello growled as he flipped the pancakes.

"Sthorry."

Grinning stupidly with some of the foam slipping down his chin, Matt pulled the child out of the high chair and carried him up back to the bathroom. Mello just rolled his eyes and focused on not destroying the rest of breakfast. Matt would take care of sweet innocent Lawliet for a few minutes.

By the time Matt came back down with the baby, Mello had already set the table and served the steaming hot pancakes. Syrup slipped down lazily while the whipped cream and extra strawberries decorated it nicely. Lawliet wiggled around as Matt tried to get him in the high chair making it difficult for him. Sighing, the older man got up and helped his mentally challenged boyfriend set the baby in his chair.

"Thanks Mels," the brunette said with a large smile. "He hates it when I try to put him in that damn thing.

"It's 'cause you're so clumsy, Matt."

"Mmm hmmm," he replied with a mouth full of hot breakfast.

Mello poked at his own food for a moment. "Fuck, what I wouldn't do for some decent bacon. Damn you and your vegetarian persuasion."

"I love you too!" Matt replied as he drizzled more of the thickened sugar onto his food.

The blond just focused on feeding diced fruit to his son. He found it fascinating how the boy would really concentrate on getting his fingers to gently take a hold of fruit, lift it to his mouth, and deposit into the warm cavern. More often than not, he failed for the first few attempts, but it was still darn cute. Were all babies like that? Still, he couldn't help but clap along with Matt when Lawliet managed to get the fruit into his mouth. Giggling, the little boy would clap too and make some contented noises.

"Aww, I can't wait until he starts talking," Matt sighed.

"Tch, between you and him I'm not sure I'll ever have a say again."

"Mwah," Lawliet replied.

"Mwah, mwah, mwah!" Matt shot back, before he leaned forward and planted loud kisses all over the baby's giggling face.

"Hey, you need to get dressed," Mello informed the happy father.

"Thanks for breakfast."

Matt planted another loud kiss right on his lover's cheek before taking the dishes and dropping them in the sink. Mello grinned stupidly and watched his boyfriend's ass as he made his way back up the stairs. Thank the stars for underwear as hot as those striped boxer briefs. A sticky strawberry smacked him in the face, successfully pulling him out of lecherous thoughts. Lawliet pouted, not at all happy with having the attention pulled away from him.

"Fine, fine. Here, let me feed you."

Opening his mouth expectantly, Lawliet munched happily on the pieces of banana and strawberries that landed on his tongue. Once all the fruit was gone, Mello wiped down the high chair and hauled the child out of his seat. Yawning sleepily, he sat down on the couch with the boy snuggled in his arms. Matt came down a few minutes later, all dressed up and ready for another boring day of work.

"See you later, babe," he murmured as he pressed a soft kiss to the older man's lips. "Take care of Lawliet, ok?"

"I will, and you just take care of yourself."

They shared a smile before Matt said his goodbyes to his son. A few kisses and giggles later, the brunette was heading out the door.

_**6:37 AM**_

Mello was startled awake with the feeling of something wet trailing down his chest. Looking down, he saw his six-month-old fast asleep on his chest, with drool spilling out of his round little mouth. Making a face at the disgusting spit still working its way down his bare chest, he carefully lifted up the child and stood up. Seeing the play-pen, he rested his little darling on the soft material before tucking a small blanket around him. Even if he did slobber, puke, and make a huge mess in his diapers, that kid was still so darn cute.

Wiping his chest with the edge of the bathrobe, Mello turned on the news and vaguely watched it as he commenced with his cleaning routine. Everything was dusted carefully, and then the windows were all wiped down. By the time he was finished with that, Lawliet was trying to stand in his play-pen and he was gurgling some childish gibberish.

"You want to go out for a walk?" the Slovenian asked as he looked around the spotless house. "Let me vacuum and then I'll take you out."

A happy giggle was the only response. Grabbing his high-powered vacuum, Mello attacked the expensive carpet. As usual, he waited until later to clean the hard-wood floor. He usually did that before getting in the bath so that it would have time to dry off before he had to walk all over it again. Once every particle of dust was removed, the blond put away his cleaning instruments and hauled the child to his bedroom so that he could get dressed.

Lawliet rolled around on the large bed happily while his mother pulled on tight black yoga pants, the only things that resembled his leathers but wouldn't scare the neighborhood kids. A tank-top that looked suspiciously like it came from the women's department was pulled on before he fought with the bobby-pins and pulled his hair back into a ponytail. Yes, he had mad skills with those little black pieces of metal.

"Damn, you're pretty excitable aren't you?" he asked as his son gurgled some more.

Slipping on his tennis shoes, he pulled the pajamas off the chubby boy. Making kissing sounds, he teased the child while he changed the diapers. Once a fresh diaper was in place, little shorts and a nice polo shirt were slipped on Lawliet. Cute spider-man shoes that Matt had bought for him a few weeks ago were strapped on, before he was hauled up and carried down the stairs to his stroller. Once the boy was strapped in, Mello set his favorite sunglasses on and shoved his keys into the baby bag that was strapped on to the stroller. Yeah, super-mommy was always prepared.

Sighing happily as he made his way down the sidewalk, the ex-Mafia leader leaned his head back for a while and enjoyed the feeling of the sun caressing his skin. The cool air was perfect for a nice jog, and Lawliet always enjoyed it when they went fast. Jogging had become one of the few things that kept his perfect body from wasting away into the fat blobs that he would occasionally see huffing along with their strollers.

"You ready to go?" he asked as he peeked down at his son chewing on one of his toys.

"Mwah!"

"Here we go!"

_**9:03 AM**_

The hour long-jog was perfectly refreshing, and Mello was in a good enough mood to take his son to the local park. Setting him in the swing, he lightly rocked him back and forth in the contraption. A small blond-haired girl approached the man as he cooed at his son and gave him encouraging words.

"Hi, Mr. Mello!"

Rolling his eyes, he turned to face the child with a few gaps in her mouth were teeth had been recently pulled. "Hey there, kid."

"What'cha doing?"

"What does it look like?" Yes, he was tempted to add "bitch" to the end of the sentence but he remembered that saying something like that to a ten-year-old wasn't deemed appropriate.

"Hmm, it looks like you're swinging Lola."

"Yup, got it right…wait, did you just fucking call him Lola?!"

The girl giggled at his use of a bad word.

"Don't say naughty words!" she chided between her giggles.

"His name's _Lawliet_, so don't go calling him some girl's name, got it?"

"Ah, Mello! Is Jennifer bothering you?" A dark-haired woman with impeccable make-up and expensive slacks approached the two arguing blonds. Her ruby red lips upturned in a graceful smile that could only be found on the ridiculously rich folk around there.

"She just needs to learn names better," he snapped as the girl stuck her tongue out at him. "Isn't she supposed to be in school or something?"

"Jenny has a dentist appointment later, so I didn't feel like taking her to school."

"Hn." Mello rolled his eyes at how these people always pampered their children. At Wammy's he _never_ had a day off even if he was sick.

"Oh, could you watch my little angel for a moment? I need to run home for a minute! Thanks!"

"Wait, I can't-"

The woman was already in her car and driving off leaving a short-tempered European with her precious daughter. Both blonds looked at each other before the little demon decided that running away would be a fun idea.

"Catch me!"

"No! Fuck, wait!" Torn between chasing after a stupid kid who could run into the street and his stationary son, Mello cursed under his breath and ran after the small girl. It wouldn't take long to catch her. Five minutes later, he was carrying the spoiled girl under his arm as he made his way back to his baby. Looking up, he saw a man leaning over the child looking like he was about to pull the boy up from the swing.

Maternal instincts kicked in at full force and he sprinted towards the threat. Dropping the ten-year-old girl on the grass, he launched at the larger man with a basic capoeira kick. The startled man fell back from the impact of the spinning kick and he was jumped on by a pissed off Mello. Almost instinctively, the man tossed the blond off of him and sent out a kick of his own which was painfully blocked by the fearless mother. Falling into his systema **(1) **stance, Mello tackled the taller man and after a few minutes of struggling, managed to pin him down on the mulch covered ground.

"Ha, take that bitch! You think you can just take my kid and get away with it?!" Feeling the adrenaline running through his veins, he slammed the man's head into the ground again. "Well guess what? You aren't getting away with this! I'll call the fucking police!"

"W-wait," he man managed to choke out. "I _am_ a police officer!"

Frowning, Mello turned the guys head to get a better look at him. He wasn't in any uniform, so the ex-Mafia head kept him pinned down.

"Really? And why would I believe you?"

The man chuckled as he spat out some of the wood chips that made their way into his mouth. "I live not far from here, and I was taking a walk. I saw this kid by himself and I got concerned. All I wanted was to see if he had any identification on him!"

Biting his lip, Mello stared at the guy trying to figure out if he could trust this guy. Slowly, he eased the pressure on the guy and he stood up. After all, he could just take this guy down again if he needed to.

"Show me your badge, bastard."

Chuckling, the man pulled out his police badge. Glancing at the name and ID number, Mello memorized both before crossing his arms and glaring at the man.

"Man you've got some nice moves there, kid," Dan the police officer complimented as he rubbed his arm.

"Don't try touching my kid again, and I won't have to kick your ass."

"WOW!!!!" Jenny screamed as she glomped Mello's leg. "Mr. Mello, you're soooooo awesome!"

"Mello?"

The Slovenian felt like back handing the girl for spilling his identity, but he just glared at the man some more.

"Yeah, I'm Mello."

"Well, it's nice to meet you," Dan chuckled again, still amazed at how someone so scrawny and small could take him down. "It's good to know that this kid's got a protective father like you watching over him. Sorry for the misunderstanding."

"Yeah, yeah, get lost," Mello growled still pissed off.

With a wave, the police officer made his way back to the sidewalk and headed off. Jenny waved at the man and looked up in awe.

"You really got Mr. Dan, didn't you?"

Mello stared down at her in shock. "You know him?!"

"Yeah," she replied innocently. "He's the neighborhood watch and he helps out at my school."

Mello felt like banging his head against the metal swing set for a few good hours.

_**11:34 AM**_

"Finally, back home," Mello muttered as he pulled the stroller into the house.

Lawliet was happily sipping his apple juice from his bottle while his mother put everything away neatly. Lastly, he was pulled out of his seat and set on the floor for a moment. Once his stroller was tucked away in the closet and all the security systems were on, Mello sighed in relief and looked at his happy little boy.

"Good thing you're a happy kid. I don't know what I'd do with you if you were all creepy like Near."

"Blethh."

"Yeah, Near is yuck. Wanna take a bath with Mommy?"

By now, he was used to referring to himself as the mother. After all, he was the damn housewife, so why wouldn't he be the mother too? Besides, it kind of made him feel warm inside when that little face would light up at the sound of "Mommy".

Lawliet clapped his hands excitedly at the suggestion, so Mello quickly mopped the kitchen floors before heading up to the master bath with his son. He filled the tub with warm water and bubbled before stripping out of his grass-stained clothes. Next, Lawliet was stripped and then Mello stepped into the bath with the squirming boy. Grabbing a washcloth, he held the baby close to his chest as he scrubbed him clean. The boy squealed happily as the bottoms of his feet were tickled by the soft cloth, and Mello couldn't help but tease the child.

Once they finished the bath, Mello prepared a quick lunch before deciding that he needed to go grocery shopping or they wouldn't have any dinner. Grabbing the baby carrier, he tied Lawliet into it and then tied it on like a backpack. Looking over his shoulder to make sure that his son was comfortable, he then headed out with his oversized sunglasses and his emergency baby bag.

A few blocks later and he came up to the small neighborhood grocery store. It was his favorite place to shop not only because it was close enough to walk to, but also because its friendly atmosphere made shopping an enjoyable experience. He had become friends with the owner and was able to special order certain foods when he felt like it.

"Hey Russell," Mello greeted as the little bell announced his entry into the shop.

"Ah, Mello! How's you been doing?" A plump Polish man looked around from the boxes he was unpacking and gave the blond a large smile. "Is Lollet be doing well?"

"He's being a righteous pain in the ass like usual," Mello joked. "No, he's being a good boy. How're you doing?"

The man gave two thumbs up before going back to his unpacking. The younger man just smiled and went about his shopping. Corn flakes for Matt, chocolate for himself, some formula for Lawliet, and then he was headed for the vegetable aisle. Really, sometimes he hated Matt being a vegetarian, but he just shook his head. His lover never forced him to become a vegetarian, but the look on his face as Mello bit into poor Betsy the cow was enough for him to stop eating his beloved meat.

As he was picking out celery sticks (ick), he noticed that a man went to the register to pay for his food. Forcing his attention back to the task of vegetable picking, Mello jumped when a crashing sound came from the register.

"Put up your hands, old man! Now hand me the money!"

Swiftly diving behind a box of granola bars, he sighed in relief as he noticed that the thief didn't notice him. The haggard man was waving his gun in a threatening manner and he didn't bother covering his ugly mug since the shop was too poor to afford security cameras.

"Come on, hurry it up!" he yelled making Russell shudder in fear. He opened the register and began pulling out his money. A plastic bag was shoved at him and he started filling it up with all the money he had.

Rolling his eyes, Mello reached into the baby bag and pulled out his Winchester. Slipping on its silencer, he took aim and fired off two shots. One went through the hand holding the gun and the other sunk into his arm. The man screeched in pain as he dropped his weapon and the lithe blond jumped out and tackled him to the ground. Planting his knee in between the man's shoulder blades, he held the man face down so that he couldn't be identified later.

"Call the police," Mello commanded the shaken older man.

In a few minutes, the sound of sirens broke through the air. Mello looked up and winked at the poor older guy. He placed a hundred dollar bill on the counter and after pistol whipping the back of the attempted-thief's head he gathered his stuff.

"Don't tell them about me, ok?"

Russell nodded. "Thanks," he whispered.

Smiling to himself, he ran through the back with his groceries and made a perfect escape. Yep, he even had the bullet that went through the man's hand in his pocket.

_**1:41 PM**_

"Hmm, Matt'll be here soon," he mumbled to himself as he cut the fresh apples into small bunny shapes for his son. The phone ringing brought him out of his thoughts and he cradled it against his shoulder and ear as he continued his work. "Who's this?"

"…Near."

"Tch, what do you want now," he grumbled as he looked at the fruit he was slicing.

"Well…Rester attempted cooking and ended up food poisoning everyone here but me."

"…And why would I give a damn?"

"I need food, Mello."

The blond couldn't help but snicker. He was probably spared from food poisoning because he refused to eat anything out of the ordinary. Of course, ordinary consisted of oatmeal with honey, crustless white bread, and a cup of whole milk.

"Hah, so you come to ask me, the great Mello, for food? I bet you feel real good about that!"

"Actually, I figured since you now all you do is cook and clean that you would have a better chance at making decent food than Rester does."

"Why you little-!"

At that moment, the knife sliced through one of his pale fingers making him howl in fury. Dropping the phone on the floor and kicking it into the wall, he stuck his injured finger under the sink and ran cold water over it. Lawliet didn't even budge from his watching Sesame Street. Applying pressure to the cut, Mello thought of violent ways of beating his lover when he came home. After all, no one else knew that he was an obedient little house wife nowadays.

The sound of his cell phone ringing only served to piss him off even further. Throwing the digital device into the toilet in their spare bathroom, he turned his attention back to attending his injured finger. Once that was taken care of, he served the clean, non-bloody, food to his child. Chubby fingers groped blindly at the food as his dark eyes continued to stare at the puppets on screen. Smiling softly, the blond pressed a loud kiss to the sticky cheek before he went back to prepare dinner. Leaning over he turned on the radio where the American Golden Oldies was playing shamelessly.

"_She had an itsy bitsy, teenie weenie, _

_Yellow polka dot bikini_

_That she wore for the first time today…"_

And yes, Mello sang along with the song as he continued to prepare dinner.

_**2:13 PM**_

"~Honey, I'm hoooome~" Matt sing-songed as he walked in through the front door. Seeing his darling son sitting on the floor with half-eaten apple bunnies made him squeal in delight before he rushed over and glomped the little child. "Mwah, mwah, how's my little boy? Did you miss Daddy?"

A small burp made Matt cry in happiness and he coddled the child. How could something so small and precious even exist in this world?! Lawliet was just too cute for his own good!

"Hi there," Mello said with an icy smile on his face. The knife in his hand didn't do much to help the image either.

"Er, hi?" Matt made sure to place their child between him and the angry man. "How was your day?" Gulp.

"Oh, it was just peachy, _darling_. Now, I received a very interesting phone call from a certain Near. Do you know what he said?"

"Uh, no?" Man, Mello was going to be uber pissed when he found out that Matt had picked him up so that he could join them for dinner.

"Hmm, he said something along the lines of, 'since all you do is cook and clean, why don't you just be the bitch for me and make me some food.'"

"Um, I'm sure that Nate wouldn't say something like that," Matt said as he sweat-dropped.

Mello took a step forward brandishing his weapon. "Did you tell him about this, my _darling sweet cakes_?"

"W-well, it kind of came up in a conversation," he squeaked as he began backing up cautiously. His lover had impeccable aim and he was pretty sure that Mello could throw that knife at him and stab him without so much as scraping a skin cell from their boy. "But I didn't say much! Besides, he asked and I don't lie!"

"You're going to die a painful death, you know," Mello threatened before the door opened to reveal a short, white-haired boy. Well, he was a man really, but he kept his boyish looks and height.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked blandly as he looked down at his toy robot.

A few veins popped on Mello's forehead as he glared at his idiot of a boyfriend. Was this guy really that clueless? Could someone really be _that_ stupid?!

"You, you-" the blond choked as he tried to decide who he wanted to stab more.

"I brought Lawliet a gift," he said slowly as he held out a neatly wrapped gift. "I hope he likes it."

Taking a deep calming breath, Mello calmed down and took the gift. "Thanks," he mumbled as he handed it to the clapping child. Lawliet absolutely adored the bright color and with the help of his patient father, he tore it open. Squealing with childish delight, the boy glomped the stuffed Optimus Prime.

"He was imported straight from Japan," the small boy said off-handedly.

"Thanks a lot, Nate," Matt said with a huge smile. His son was happily rubbing his face against the fluffy material and he couldn't help the warm bubbly feeling in his chest. Even Mello couldn't help but soften at the scene in front of him.

"Well, come on," he huffed. "Dinner's ready."

All of them went into the clean kitchen and sat down at the table. A bowl of steaming oatmeal with honey drizzled on it was set beside a plate with crustless white bread and a glass of whole milk. Matt couldn't help but smile at Mello's preparation. Even if he didn't like Near, the blond would always welcome the lonely boy into their home.

_**5:23 PM**_

Because of the early dinners they always had, there was always lots of family time in the Jeevas-Keehl home. They went swimming in the backyard pool and convinced Near to at least read a book under the protection of an umbrella. Matt gave Lawliet his lessons in swimming while Mello swam laps as his exercise. Taking a breather, he couldn't help but notice that Near was blushing. He snickered, knowing that the cause for that coloration on his cheeks was the stylish black Speedos he was wearing. Even Matt got distracted every time he swam past.

"What's wrong?" he teased the younger boy, making Near shift uncomfortably.

"Nothing. It is just cold."

"Yeah, sure."

"Mels, let's go watch a movie!" Matt suggested as he swam over with Lawliet in his shark floatie.

"Ok, I'm done with my laps anyway." Pulling himself out of the water, he took the time to stretch out lazily before sauntering to his towel.

"Are you trying to give me an orgasm?!" Matt whined as he set the baby on the deck and pulled himself up. "You're so mean!"

"Don't be a big baby, Mattie," Mello chided as he wrapped the towel around himself. "And I already had a bath with Lawliet, so you can just wash him off."

"Ok," Matt grumbled as he adjusted his swimming trunks. "Darn Mello and his sexy swimwear."

"I agree," Near grumbled as he shuffled into the house.

"Wow, I didn't just hear that," the brunette assured himself as he stared at Near's retreating form. "Yeah, I definitely didn't hear that."

_**8:00 PM**_

Two Disney movies later, in which Matt and Mello stared at the screen stupidly and Near and Lawliet were completely enraptured, it was time to put the baby to bed. He blinked sleepily as he sucked slowly on his warm milk. Snuggling into Mello's chest, he soon nodded off. When Matt tried to pry the bottle out of his hands, Lawliet jumped awake and diligently sucked on the bottle until he slipped off into a sleep again. Both doting parents sighed happily and watched as he slept. Near just curled some hair around his finger.

"So you don't regret adopting him?" he asked as he pulled his leg up to his chest.

"Tch, of course not," Mello snorted.

"Yeah, it's one of the best decisions we've ever made," Matt supported as he stroked the soft face.

"But isn't he messy? And doesn't he require a lot of attention."

"Well you did too, and Roger didn't kick your ass out," Mello laughed softly.

"I don't think that he kept me of his own will," Near replied dryly making the other two chuckle.

"He didn't keep us willingly either, buddy," Matt replied. "I'm sure L and Watari had a lot to do with that."

Near nodded in understanding and stared at the little bundle that seemed to make the other two so inexplicably happy. The child was fat and warm. He was also loud when awake, and wiggled around when asleep. What was it about babies that made the people around soften like ice cream out in the sun?

"Want to hold him?" Matt asked as he finally managed to pull the bottle away from the sleepy fingers.

Near considered it before deciding that he might be able to further understand a baby's manipulative nature if he actually touched it. Nodding his head slowly, he shuffled forward. Matt instructed him on how to hold the child, and in a matter of a few seconds he was holding the decidedly heavy child. Looking down at the round face, Near tried to find some hidden secret.

Watching the scene in front of him made Mello think about how lucky he really was. He had a loving boyfriend, a happy and well-behaved son, friends, and a nice house. Even if he was no longer living the fast life of a mobster, this kind of life was more than fulfilling enough.

"I love you," Matt whispered in his ear, making him smile.

"I know you do," he teased, pulling Matt in for a soft kiss.

Maybe being a house wife wasn't _that_ bad.

**Author's Notes: (1) Systema is a Russian style of martial arts.**

**Ok, anyone notice how children always seem to have sticky cheeks and fingers?! Is it just me? Am I crazy? Probably…**

**Anyway! I hope that you all enjoyed this silly little thing. Please review and let me know what you think. Also, should I make a two-shot, by showing what Matt's day is like? Thanks for reading!  
**


	2. ExConvict

**Due to popular demand here is part 2 of the "Times and Life" three-shot!**

**"The Times and Life of an Ex-Convict Husband"**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, Cheerios, Mustangs, Mario (or his mushrooms), Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours", or Desperate Housewives**

Sleep. One of life's most necessary quirks. One's body would recover and heal as the mind got time to play in a way that consciousness could never copy. It was therapeutic, it was healing, it was even important for development. On top of that, sleep was quite enjoyable. So enjoyable, in fact, that a certain brunette gamer opted to pull the covers over his head and refuse his duty to wake up in the wee hours of the morning.

_**5:03 AM**_

The sound of Mello throwing their newest alarm clock down the stairs made an effort to wake the younger man up, but he just sighed and forced himself back to sleep. Mello was always throwing things around and he was too used to it to be kept awake. Still, it would be nice if his dearest blond would be a little quieter as he tried to sleep.

"Fucking shit!"

Hm, so he ran into that chest again. Matt wondered if Mello was incapable of seeing things in the dark or if he just had a habit of hitting that beautiful piece of decoration in their room. Honestly, it wasn't as if the chest jumped out and planted itself in Mello's way. But that would be funny. A smile curled on the brunette's lips as the thought of the heavy oak chest chasing the cursing blond danced through his sleepy mind. That thought only led to a strange string of dreams that involved a Cheshire cat and Mello in a blue and white dress.

_**5:19 AM**_

"Not this again," Matt groaned as water was mercilessly spritzed in his face. Wasn't doing something like that abuse? "Just a few more minutes, Mels," he begged.

The European man just stared as his lazy lover tried to hide under his side of the covers. Hah, as if Mello would let that bum stay in bed any longer. "Get up now, or I'll be forced to hurt you."

"Come one," he whined as he rolled around. "A few more minutes isn't going to kill me."

Sighing, Mello dropped the water bottle and left the room. After grumbling a little, Matt tried to get comfortable. Still, he was thankful for any extra time he could spend sleeping. Unfortunately, his lover was a stubborn ass and refused to let him have that precious time. A wide awake and curious child was planted on the small of his back where it proceeded to crawl to his hair and tug at it.

"Change him," Mello commanded before heading back down to deal with burnt breakfast.

Pinching his nose, Matt rolled over carefully and looked down at his baby boy. Large eyes stared up at him before a squeal of delight echoed through the room and a large grin covered that chubby face.

"You…you're just so darn cute!" Matt cried and he hugged the boy. "And so stinky too!"

Hauling the boy to the bathroom, he kicked the toilet seat down and cleaned Lawliet's diapers on it. Once his boy smelled like a bunch of roses, he set the boy on the impeccable floor and focused his attentions on brushing his teeth. The image greeting him in the mirror had hair sticking up in every direction, bleary looking blue eyes, and a pale yet well-formed chest. He was a hot looking nerd if he did say so himself. Seriously, if someone as divine as Mello was still living with him there had to be something he was doing right.

"Whath joo thnk?" he asked his son who was playing with his father's restless foot.

"Eh?" Lawliet asked as he tilted his head.

"Joo thnk Melso shinks 'm hosh?"

Lawliet stared at his father for a moment before shrugging. Matt just giggled at his son's reaction. That round face looked so intelligent that he sometimes wondered if Lawliet really did understand what they were saying as was just biding his time to rule the world. Yeah, that sounded plausible.

"Mama," Lawliet said clearly as he played with his father's sock. "Mama."

Toothpaste and spit sprayed all over the bathroom mirror as Matt realized that his baby just said his first words.

"HOLY SHIT!!!!" he screeched in sheer joy. Lawliet looked alarmed as Matt grabbed him and sprinted to a confused looking Mello. The baby was held out to his mother as Matt babbled happily. "He just said 'Mama' Mello he really did I heard him and he knew what he was saying because I was talking about you I said really nice things of course but he knows you and said 'Mama' his first word!!!!"

Mello stared at both of the boys and wrinkled his eyebrows in confusion. Matt was speed talking of course, and his excitement only made the baby start giggling and making other happy and hyper noises.

"What the fuck are you ranting about?" Mello asked, trying to get his sleep deprived mind to start working.

"Mama," Lawliet replied for Matt. Mello shrieked in surprise and happiness as his little boy spoke to him.

"Fuck he's talking!!! Matt, he's talking!"

"I know! He's so smart!"

"He said 'Mama'!"

"Yeah!"

Both adults were jumping up and down in excitement that only parents can know. This is the excitement they get when a baby burps, speaks, spits, laughs, or walk. Yes, such is the life of a set of overjoyed parents.

"Could you yell any louder?" Near complained as he walked into the kitchen sleepily. His white curly hair was mussed from his having to sleep on the couch last night. "One would think that world peace had just been achieved," he continued to grumble.

"He talked, Near!" Mello cried in joy forgetting about the fact that breakfast was about to be burnt twice that morning. "He said 'Mama'!"

"And? Children are expected to speak," Near retorted as he took his place at the table. "I don't understand you two's reaction."

Matt smiled sadly at Near as he handed Lawliet to his overexcited mother. "Well, even though it's supposed to happen, no one really knows when it will, Near. It's a gift, a present to see a child growing up."

Near still looked puzzled, but decided not to ruin the couple's happy moment with any more calloused remarks. If they were happy, then it was not his place to take that away from them. Matt just petted the younger boy's head softly. He understood that Near wouldn't understand something so…human. One of these days though, when he had his own family and his own baby, then he would understand. For now, it was just good that he could see it.

"Mama," Lawliet repeated earning another round of praise and affectionate hugs.

"Gonna finish cleaning up," Matt informed Mello before pressed a kiss to those perfect lips.

"Ugh, you still have toothpaste in your mouth," Mello chided as he wiped his mouth. "Don't forget to comb your damn hair."

Matt winked in response earning himself an ass swat by his lover. Running up the stairs, Matt shimmied to the bathroom in his special uncoordinated way. Once there, he finished cleaning up and got dressed for work. Even his eternally messy hair was attacked with Mello's expensive comb. It didn't really affect the hair, but it was the thought that counted.

Breakfast with Mello, Near, and Lawliet brought a smile to his face, and a pleasantly painful throb to his chest. Near was complaining about the oatmeal and Mello was threatening to shove it down the other's throat in a most violent manner. The baby started singing in his own language as he attempted to eat all of his Cheerios. Milk spilled, fruits were thrown, and dishes were broken, but to the young gamer, this was nothing short of perfect.

_**5:53 AM**_

"Here you are, Nate," Matt informed as he pulled up to the hotel were Near was supposed to be staying as he worked on a few cases in the area.

"Don't call me that," Near chided in his monotone voice.

"Well, I hope that you didn't hate staying at out place too much," the gamer snorted.

Near just smiled. "Of course I didn't."

"Call me up if you need anything!"

The pale, sickly man-child just waved in reply as Matt revved his engine and made the mad dash to get to work on time. Really, Mello shouldn't have let him buy the Mustang by Giugiaro **(1)**. It was an absolute beast, and the brunette was not shy about flaunting its glorious power even in the early morning. Stop lights were mere suggestions, speed limits a joke, and the roads themselves were nothing as he glided over it.

Both windows were rolled down all the way to keep the smell of his cigarettes from permeating into the perfect vehicle. This baby had transcended the title of mere "car" and had become a road monster. The interior had been customized to have all leather and cherry oak. A pair of black fuzzy dice hung from his rear view mirror and his foot mat had a rich green 1-up Mushroom.

Cranking up the radio to barely tolerable levels, Matt began to sing along with a familiar song. "Before the cool done run out, I'll be giving it my bestest, and nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention; I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some." Screeching into the parking garage, he didn't miss a beat.

"Bu-ut I won't he-i-tate no more, no more, it cannot wait, I'm yours!"

_**6:04 AM**_

"Matthew, you're late."

Looking up from the mess around his desk, the brunette fought the urge to sigh. His anal retentive manager was tapping his foot impatiently. That man's tie was way too tight and his balding head was the wearisome source of glares on people's screens. Not to mention that this guy was an utter jerk who was always looking for ways to make his people's lives miserable. Somehow, Matt's easy-go-lucky attitude and disrespect for authority made him the main target of this man's wrath.

"Yeah."

"Well?" Those perfect and expensive shoes were tapping agitatedly on the linoleum.

"What?" Matt asked playing ignorant.

"You know what Matthew! You still haven't even signed in! This means you'll have to work overtime, young man and…"

By that point in the lecturing, Matt was already far gone. All those years of being scolded by Roger had taught him the invaluable lesson of tuning out annoying old men who think that their being older man them the lords and kings of the place. Yeah, Matt didn't give a shit about that. Besides, he was completely sure that he couldn't even be fired. Sitting down at his messy desk, he began to prepare for another day's lame ass work.

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!" the manager screeched in exasperation.

"Huh?"

Matt looked up to see the manager (whose name was Bob) tugging at his remaining hair.

"Alright Bob," a deep voice chuckled. "Go take care of something else, and I'll talk to Matt."

Both men turned to see an elderly black man looking impeccable in his suit standing there. His peppered hair was cut close and round glasses covered bright intelligent eyes. Although he was a bit heavy set, his height helped make up for that.

"Yes, sir," Bob replied before shooting Matt a scalding glare.

"Bye Bobby!" the gamer said cheerfully before turning to his real boss. "Sorry I was late, Boss. An old friend stayed over and Lawliet said his first word!"

The paternal pride emanating from the skinny young man made his boss laugh. "What was it?" he asked.

"He said 'Mama'! Mello was so freakin' happy."

Chuckling, the older man ruffled Matt's unruly hair. "Just don't make it a habit."

"Sure thing. Hey, will I get any fun work today? Oh, and I want to go eat lunch with Mello, is that ok?"

"Let me look at this schedule," the boss mumbled as he looked into his file. Joel Kingston was the owner of a multi-million dollar computer company and people like Matt was how he stayed ahead of the game. Matt was his ultimate weapon in the business world, though. "Ah, looks like you get to tear up our newest edition of our OS. Feel free to tamper with it and give the programmers some hell."

Grinning wickedly, Matt nodded. It was for these moments that he lived for. "You know me well, Boss."

"That I do," Joel mumbled. "If I don't keep you entertained, you'll screw my entire line up." The brunette chose not to admit or deny. He just smiled.

After handing Matt a thick folder with some information on his jobs for the day, Joel left to attend his other workers. The gamer just shoved the folder to a corner of his desk and began to get ready. All his customized computers were turned on and he ran a quick check through them. His job consisted mostly of testing out products. The programmers would create various programs from operating systems to new photo editing software and Matt was given permission to hack the programs and point out their flaws. His favorite were the newest firewalls and virus protections that he got to perfect. There still wasn't a single program or computer that he couldn't hack, but a few managed to give him a little trouble.

"Ugh, you always have to cause trouble so damn early," a co-worker complained as she leaned against his desk.

"Yeah, this place needs some excitement so early," Matt yawned as he put his DS to charge. "You should be thanking me, Cass."

The blond busty woman chuckled as she blew on her black coffee. Her tanned skin was complimented by the charcoal skirt and white shirt she was wearing. High black heels accentuated her well formed legs and her pencil skirt flattered her figure as well. This woman was the essence of fashion and beauty also blessed with an intelligent mind. Although at first glance she looked like the office slut, Cassandra was one of the best programmers in the building. Her goal was to make Matt work for at least a week to break into one of her firewalls.

"You're a dickhead."

"Thanks."

Matt pulled her coffee cup away and took a long sip of the hot beverage. Cassandra just rolled her brown eyes. She had always been fond of her socially challenged co-worker, even more so after she realized that he was in no way lustful after her body. Being in a place full of nerds who only fantasized about women like her was always frustrating, and she found that Matt took her more seriously than anyone else. He challenged her mind and could always carry a decent conversation. Oh, and his sarcasm was the cherry on top.

"Give me coffee and get back to work," she commanded as she looked down at his picture of his family. It was the only picture on the desk, and he had mentioned that this was one of the rare times that his lover allowed him to take a picture.

"Well, you better get your ass to work," Matt groaned as he stretched in his padded chair. "Let's see what I can destroy today."

_**11:48 AM**_

"Ugh, I can't wait to get some decent lunch," the gamer whined as he spun around in his chair.

"You've got two minutes before you can get out of here," Cassandra observed as she played on Matt's PSP. Glancing up at the gullible man, she decided that playing with his mind a little would be too bad. "I was watching Desperate Housewives the other day," she remarked casually.

"What the fuck? You waste your time watching a show with a bunch of sluts in it?"

"It was actually kind of interesting when I got to thinking about it," she continued. "It really is. I mean, the idea of it is sound when thinking about the real world. Wives are people too and when left _all_ alone for _hours_ they eventually have to find ways to entertain themselves."

"That's what video games are for," Matt reasoned as he continued to spin around.

"Well, engaging in a forbidden relationship is far more entertaining," Cassandra replied as she glanced at the man. "Especially if the wife is an adventurous and independent individual. After all, just trying it would be more thrilling than any game you own."

Wrinkling his nose in thought, Matt couldn't help but wonder about Mello. The blond was definitely independent and he had always had a hard time sitting around for any period of time. He was always finding ways of getting himself into trouble, but lately he hadn't done anything of the sort.

Matt had simply thought that it was because they now had Lawliet and Mello's maternal instincts kept him from endangering himself or his child, but what if that wasn't the case? What if Mello was merely keeping out of trouble because he was busy having filthy sex with some other man all day? That thought made the brunette shudder in rage. No man had the right to touch _his_ Mello! But he would never know if that was the case because he was always at work.

Cassandra smirked as she watched the poor boy chew his lip nervously. He really was too much fun to tease. "Well, I wouldn't be surprised if there were hundreds if not thousands of cheating wives in this very city," she stated seriously. "Hmm, I wonder what that would be like for the husband?"

Glancing at the clock, Matt jumped up from his chair. "I'm going to lunch!" he shouted as he sprinted for the stairs to reach the car garage faster.

_**12:06 PM**_

Thoughts of Mello cheating on him simply because he was bored of sitting at home all day haunted Matt as he raced through the streets. It wasn't completely impossible! Seriously, he was nothing more than a scrawny geek who had sensitive eyes. There was nothing redeemable about him! On the other hand, Mello was a masterpiece of creation. He was perfectly shaped in _every_ area, and was gifted with a mind so ridiculously intelligent that it made Albert Einstein look like a confused fool. He could pull off leather better than any dominatrix, and could crack a whip better than them too. Mello also knew several martial arts simply because he was _bored_, learned over ten languages, and even ran the motherfucking mafia for a few years just because he could! From all the crazy things he had done in his life, sitting around at home had probably pushed him to do something he had never done before, even in his criminal career. Mello was cheating on him. He had become a most desperate housewife.

Peeling around the final corner, Matt was utterly horrified to see Mello out in the front yard with a man that he didn't know. Slamming on his brakes in front of the house, he seethed as he watched the man step protectively in front of the small blond. Damn it all, it was true! How dare this man think he could steal away Mello!

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" the stupid man demanded as Matt stomped to him.

Before Mello could explain, or say anything at all, Matt punched the stranger right in the nose. The sickening sound of the delicate cartilage breaking was music to the gamer's ears and he jumped on the man and began to wail on him. He didn't know any kind of martial arts or any fancy ways of beating people up, but his rage was enough to keep his fists flying. Mello was shouting something, but all he could hear was a constant ringing. This man would suffer for touching what wasn't his.

A bony fist connected with Matt's cheekbone, sending him reeling back onto the well-kept lawn. Looking up in shock, he saw Mello with his knuckles brandished and a very pissed off look on his face.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" he shouted as he moved to help the bleeding man.

"You, you-! You!"

"I don't speak idiot," he hissed harshly as he finally managed to get the man to his feet. "Now drag your ass inside and tell me what the hell's gotten into you!"

Confused, furious, but helpless to Mello's will, Matt followed the two of them in. His brilliant blue eyes were flashing with venomous anger as he stared accusingly as the two other people in the kitchen. The blond wet some clothes and applied them to the other man's broken nose with more pressure than was probably comfortable.

"You're cheating on me," Matt finally choked out, tears brimming but refusing to fall.

"What?!" Mello screeched as he squeezed the man's nose harder. The unfortunate man squeaked in pain but Mello shot him a seething glare. Those eyes soon turned back to Matt with barely contained fury.

"You're cheating on me with that guy!" Matt continued to accuse, though a small part of him began to doubt.

"This idiot? HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST YOUR MARBLES?!!!!"

Taken aback, Matt gaped at his lover as Mello continued to apply unwanted pressure to the crying man's nose. Wasn't he the one who was supposed to be yelling?

"Why the hell would I cheat on you?! You're such a selfish bastard! Thinking so low of me, like I'm some common slut you picked off the street!"

"B-but you-"

"No, you shut up!" Now Matt was sure that he had made a monumental mistake. "This is the fucking street police person! He tried to kidnap Lawliet the other day and came to apologize for the misunderstanding!"

Matt didn't even think before launching himself at the man again, fully intending to kill the son of a bitch who thought that he could kidnap Lawliet _and_ seduce Mello. That man was lower than dirt and he was going to feel just like that if Matt had anything to say about that.

Large round eyes of a child watched in amazement from the doorway as his parents and the strange man from the other day all tangled into a ball of flailing limbs, merciless fists, and cheap shot kicks. Not surprisingly, Mama ended the victor of the gladiator match and stood over the other two with nothing more than messy hair and a split lip.

_**12:50 PM**_

"Wow," Matt sighed into the icepack he was holding against his swollen face. "That's…wow."

"I'ma stho sthorry," Dan the unfortunate police officer said through the bag of ice he was holding against his broken nose. Mello had patched the both of them up and was now attending Lawliet so that the two idiots could talk it out. "I din't know cwho you were."

"No, I'm so sorry!" Matt apologized shaking his head. "I was being stupid, and I shouldn't have hit you."

He was feeling like an utter jerk. Not only did he doubt Mello's faithfulness, but he also attacked an innocent man who was trying to make amends for the last misunderstanding he had with Mello. If Mello really wanted to cheat on Matt, he would definitely be smart enough not to broadcast the affair on the front lawn. All the evidence was contrary to such a foolish idea, but at the idea it all seemed right. Well, wrong.

"I hope you feel like a jack-ass," Mello hissed at his poor lover as he helped Lawliet into the high chair and placed some snacks in front of him. "And you," he glared at Dan, "don't ever try to 'protect' me ever again. I can take care of myself just fine." Both men just hung their heads in shame.

"I'm sorry, Mello," Matt sniffed as he stared at the table. He really had been a jerk to his poor house wife.

"Me thoo," Dan apologized even though he was pretty sure that the agony he had to endure from Mello's fixing the broken nose was more than enough compensation.

Mello just sighed as he looked at the two ashamed men. "Well, just don't do it again." Once they both nodded, the blond shook his head and set lunch out for them. "I guess I owe you guys lunch for knocking the shit out of you two. Pansies."

_**1:31 PM**_

"AH HA HA HA HA! What the heck happened to you?!"

Everyone in the office was staring at the embarrassed brunette as Cassandra held her sides and laughed at his expense. The left side of his face was swollen and his delicate knuckles were bruised and swollen as well.

"Could you make a bigger scene?" he hissed in annoyance, not liking that everyone was trying to eavesdrop and find out why the laziest guy in their department (and in the whole company) was beat up and blushing in embarrassment.

"Oh, oh, this is too funny," she choked as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Don't tell me you approached Mello with that Desperate Housewife thing!"

"Please shut up!" he hissed. "I'll buy you dinner, just shut up!"

"Ok, ok, but you have to tell me _everything_!"

"Fine! Just go away!"

Cassandra continued to chuckle even as she walked away. Matt just stuck his nose back into his work and tried to finish everything so that he could go back home. He was planning on cooking dinner and taking care of Lawliet so that Mello could be free to do whatever he wanted. It was the least he could do for making a fool of himself and accusing Mello of such a dirty thing. He really did feel horrible for that, but it only made his insecurities bubble up.

There was no way that he was good enough for Mello, and it seemed that he was just waiting for the blond to leave him. He couldn't believe that the older man would want to stay with him forever and raise Lawliet like real parents would. There was no doubt that they both loved the little boy dearly, but still, Matt was nothing. He wasn't handsome, he wasn't witty, and he wasn't even talented in any meaningful way. All he could do was play video games and hack into computers. Oh, and make a complete fool of himself. If he were Mello, he would have left a long time ago.

_**3:15 PM**_

"Mels? I'm home!"

Matt had come home utterly depressed. He had taken Cassandra to a café to buy her dinner and told her about the whole affair. After she had a good laugh about the whole thing, she gave him a hug and tried to console him, but he didn't really feel better. Even though he was trying, he wasn't making a very good husband at all.

Not hearing any response from Mello, he sighed and headed to the kitchen to get ready to cook dinner. Biting his lip in disappointment he saw that dinner was already finished and that Mello had even made him a carrot cake, his favorite. He should be the one apologizing, not Mello.

"Sorry, didn't hear you come in," Mello called from upstairs. "I'll be right down there." When Mello finally came down, he was surprised to see such a long look on his lover. "Are you ok?"

"I'm really sorry," Matt sniffled trying not to cry. He didn't want to look weak in front of the most important person in the world to him. "I don't deserve you."

"What's this bullshit?" Mello asked softly as he pulled Matt into a soft hug. "Who was stupid enough to suggest that?"

"Me."

Mello sighed. "Don't say that, Mattie. I was wrong to snap at you the way I did too. We were both wrong, but that's ok. Everything's fine now. I'm not mad at you; are you made at me?"

"No," Matt mumbled into Mello's neck.

"Good. Hey, how about you take a nap before dinner? It's just cold shit again, so you don't have to worry about eating it quickly."

Nodding, Matt let Mello take him upstairs to their bedroom. Soft pale fingers worked the clothes off the brunette and the sweet mouth pressed open mouthed kisses down Matt's bare chest. Still, the gamer didn't feel deserving attention, so he gently pushed his lover away. Huffing, Mello stared at Matt curling under the sheets for a minute before he walked away in defeat. Mere minutes later, he was back with a brand new tactic that was sure to work.

Matt felt the pressure of someone climbing into bed with him and he sighed softly. Mello was so good to him no matter what he did. Maybe he should quit pouting and give his boyfriend some loving back. After all, Mello never approached him unless he himself was interested in some adult cuddling or more. "Mello, I really-"

As soon as he saw his lover, Matt's mind went blank and his mouth dropped open. Kneeling at the foot of the bed in a very provocative manner, Mello was giving his best bedroom eyes, but that wasn't the only thing making the gamer's blood run south. Nope, that would be the tight leather hugging the milky skin and soft curves. Licking his palm, Mello slowly dragged it down over his chest teasingly tugging at his silver zipper.

Swallowing hard, Matt watched entranced as that little piece of metal slowly made its way down. Peeking under the vest was the perfect expanse of chest that was rising up slowly before settling back down. Those thin fingers slipped past the vest and teased the edge of the leather pants, playing with the laces that were hiding a stiffening member. Realizing that he was panting from just watching, Matt decided that maybe make-up sex would be a good idea at this point.

Neither of them was much in the mood for foreplay, so Matt tackled Mello, nearly taking them both off the bed. Their lips collided with the earth-shaking force of passion and Matt almost didn't have the mind to move to a less treacherous position. Fortunately for the both of them, he did pull Mello to the middle of the bed before his hands attacked the leather clothes. His hungry mouth ravaged the bared flesh and his fingers struggled to reveal even more of that flesh. Mello, however, was not one to take it lying down in any circumstance.

Shoving his knee between Matt's legs, he began to rub the hard member that was encased in the boxer briefs. Blunt nails ran down both his lover's arms leaving delicate red welts and he lavished attention at the pulse on Matt's right wrist. Being one of his sensitive spots, it drove the gamer crazy and he soon shoved his tongue into the European's mouth just to gain some kind of control in this situation. Once they were both completely naked, things only heated up.

"Fuck, Mattie!" Mello panted as he watched Matt struggle to get the lube container open. "Get the damn thing open already!"

"I-I'm trying!" he snapped back as he tried to will his shaking hands to work for one freakin' minute. "They gotta make it so motherfucking hard!"

"It's just prevention measures," Mello reasoned as he slapped Matt's hands away and worked on the tube himself. "Make sure punk ass kids don't screw around."

Matt groaned in pleasure as he watched Mello lean back and spread his legs wide. Pouring the lubrication on three of his own fingers, the blond smiled wickedly as he teased his own entrance. The brunette was nearly crazy with lust and just watching his lover prepare himself was almost too much.

"D-don't do that, oh _fuck_! Oh, Mels, oh.."

"Don't h-have an orgasm without me," Mello chuckled as he continued to prepare himself. "Now put your cock in me, babe."

In no mind to disagree, Matt lifted up Mello's legs and pressed into the warm body with a low groan. The Slovenian cried out in pleasure as he arched his back and adjusted to the familiar body within him. Barely able to even think straight, he took a hold of Matt's hand and entwined their fingers.

"How…could…you think…anyone else?" he asked sadly as he squeezed the hand of his boyfriend.

"Ngh, I…gods…"

"No one…else!"

Mello's free hand clenched at the sheets as Matt began to pick up his pace, angling his thrusts to hit the blond's prostate. Each movement seemed to give the insecure gamer better clarity even as it sent his mind reeling with pleasure. There would never be anyone else for him, and Mello really did feel the same way about him. Even if he couldn't understand it, Mello really did love him and wanted to stay with him, raise a child with him, and love him.

Having a chance to make love with each other was few and far between ever since Lawliet showed up and their endurance wasn't up to par. Still, this didn't bother either of the lovers as they drew near completion. The length of the lovemaking didn't matter; it was the love being made that was important.

"I love you, Mihael," Matt whispered into his lover's ear as he pulled Mello up into his lap. "Mngh, I love you so fucking much!"

Crying out in pleasure, the blond rode the gamer to completion, forcing a kiss at the last minute. Tremors shook through their bodies as they clutched each other and kissed like there was no tomorrow. Hands caressed and lips clicked as they wound down from climax. Gently laying Mello back, Matt kissed his cheek and laid next to his sated lover.

"I love you too, you know," Mello whispered, making the younger man smile widely. "I love you too."

Although it was stressful at times and he was full of all kinds of insecurities, Matt couldn't help but think that he was living the good life. He had a loving house wife who would wear leather just for him, a cute baby boy who started talking, and most of all a family. Maybe being a working husband wasn't so bad.

"Damn, we left the door open," Mello groaned.

"Tch, I'm sure that Lawliet didn't hear a thing."

Yeah, this wasn't bad at all.

**Author's Notes: (1) Check this sick car out at: (http://) (www) (dot) (autoclub) (dot) (com) (dot) (au/2006/11/) (ford-mustang-giugiaro-concept) (dot) (html) You know the drill, just make "dot" into an actual "." and remove the parentheses. Hmm, I feel kind of bad for Dan the police man. He got his ass handed to him by both boys. What next for him? So yay for me! I kept this from going all angsty, but I still had to add a little in there. It was a good excuse for some make-up sex. ^_^ **

**Thank you for reading this and please review to let me know if you liked it!  
**


	3. ExOrphan

**Dedicated to Miscellaneous Rhett and we've all got our junk for their excellent ideas. I hope that you will all enjoy the final chapter to this three-shot! There is some slight OCness, but there's a reason for that.**

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Death Note, or Palace Steak House**

**"The Times and Life of an Ex-Orphan Baby"**

_**5:00 AM**_

The sound of "Mama's" alarm rang through the house, jerking awake a small bundle of joy commonly referred to as a baby. Blinking slowly at the surrounding darkness, Lawliet decided to just wait until Mama was done with his morning routine. A soft squeak of a yawn shook his small body as he wiped his eyes sleepily. The normal cursing that Mama did filtered to his room making him giggle. His mother really was a person of habit more than a clumsy person.

Accidentally swallowing some spit down the wrong tube, Lawliet began to cough loudly. It was a funny feeling and he couldn't stop the coughing. Luckily for him, he had two very overprotective parents who loved to lavish attention on him. Both came running into the room and checked up on him. Daddy lifted him up while Mama gently patted his back. Smiling, his sleepy father didn't mind as the child coughed up some spit on him.

"Take him to the bed," the blond yawned as he rubbed his son's back.

The brunette nodded and pressed a sloppy kiss to his baby's cheek before walking back to bed with him. Lawliet loved it when he got to be on the big soft bed. There weren't any bars to keep him locked in and it was so bouncy. Daddy and him could play for hours on that bed, but Mama didn't like that very much. He wanted them to keep their rough housing in the playroom, the living room, or the backyard. How boring.

Daddy tossed him up in the air before catching him and jumping onto the bed. Lawliet squealed in delight and giggled as his father started making all kinds of funny faces at him. He tried to imitate a few of the faces and was pleased when his daddy started laughing as well.

"You guys are fucking peas in a pod," Mama grumbled as he came out in his favorite robe.

That funny look twinkled in Daddy's eyes as he looked at Mama. Seeing that only made Lawliet giggle harder. Daddy was a pervert, Mama would say. Maybe that's what he would mean.

"Yeah we are," he said smoothly. "Come over here, Mels."

"Hell no," Mama shot down. "Our son is in the room and I will not be subject to your groping in front of him. Now take a damn shower and get him cleaned up while I make breakfast."

"Awww, you're no fun," Daddy pouted making his son imitate the look. They really were quite similar.

"Get going, or you'll be late again."

Grumbling about his lack of loving, the brunette picked up his raven-haired child and took him into the warm bathroom. The bath ran while the adult undressed shamelessly and then undressed his son.

"Yay! You didn't pee in your diapers!" Matt cried happily, cheering his son's accomplishment. "I just hope you won't pee in the bath."

Lawliet opted to try eating his foot as a response to that and his daddy couldn't help but sigh happily. This boy was his pride and joy, a perfect representation of his commitment to Mello.

"Hey, you know I love you, right?" he asked the boy as he stepped into the warm water. Lawliet nodded as he grabbed his father's face and pressed a loud wet kiss on his nose. Chuckling, Matt attacked the chubby baby with a rain of loud kisses before he got to the task of cleaning them both up. "Mama's pretty anal retentive. I mean, who needs a shower every day? Seriously, he made me take a shower after we had sex last night, and now he wants me to shower again?"

"Mama."

"Yep. He's crazy. Still, I love the guy. Tch, if I didn't, I'd be long gone."

"Mwah!"

"Oh, but I've got a surprise for Mama!" Leaning closer to the child, he whispered as if sharing a big secret with his best friend (which wasn't too far from the truth). "I wanna marry him, and I'm going to propose soon. Although we're already living together, I'm still kind of scared he'll say no."

"No?" the child asked in confusion.

"He's pretty stubborn and has all kinds of emotional problems. Who knows if proposing will freak him out? Still, I want to try. Do you want to help Daddy?"

"No!" he replied excitedly.

"Heh, I think you mean 'yes,' Lawliet," Matt chuckled as he scrubbed the boy clean. "We'll surprise Mama tonight, ok?"

"Mwah!"

_**5:23 AM**_

"Finally," the blond huffed as he watched his lover come down stairs with his little angel.

Both of them still had damp hair and some water clinging to their skin making the OCD European mutter about Matt's inability to even dry properly. Lawliet didn't really mind because Daddy would always let him pick his clothes after their baths. Mama would always pick the clothes for him, but he liked to be a big boy every once in a while.

"Sorry 'bout that."

"What the heck is he wearing?" Mello asked as he stared at the Spider-man shirt, the striped pants and the fish socks. "None of that…matches."

"He picked it himself," Matt muttered as he tried to get Lawliet into the seat without any help. "Let him wear what he wants."

Honestly, Lawliet loved his daddy in many ways, but his daddy was, as Mama called him, a "clumsy shit" and he always managed to hurt the kid when he put him in anything resembling a chair. He also dropped the boy, tripped over him, forgot about him, and other things that parents shouldn't do. Thus, he struggled to get out of Matt's grip and into the experienced hands of his mother.

"Mattie, stop trying to put him in, you'll just hurt yourself."

"Aww, but I wanna try!"

"Fuck, he's not some experiment," Mello chided as he managed to pull the boy away. "If you're not playing with him, you're scaring the shit out of him with your clumsiness!"

Daddy put up his best pouty look, complete with watering eyes and a quivering lip. "B-but I do try!"

Setting his son down, Mello couldn't help but comfort his mentally challenged boyfriend. It was true that he did try; the problem was that his attempts usually didn't end well. He gave a quick peck to the younger man's lips and patted his hair. "I know you try."

With a mischievous grin that would make his son giggle, Matt grabbed Mello around the waist and spun him around. Lawliet clapped his hands as he watched his mama hang on desperately. Matt wasn't known for only dropping the baby.

"Put me the fuck down, you asshole!"

"Now, now, watch your language," Matt snickered as he set Mello on top of the granite countertop. Daring to push his luck, the younger man wrapped his arms around Mello and pulled him into a kiss. At first, the blond resisted, but that talented mouth was too much.

Both eyes were wide as Lawliet watched his mother and father get lost in their own little world. Although it wasn't uncommon for them to kiss in front of their son, they usually tried to keep it simple and innocent. These random moments of kissing and what Mommy called "groping" were few and far between and for a good reason. Sessions like this usually ended up with his parents playing their funny game in their bedroom. Still, Lawliet couldn't help but gape at his parents and wonder if they were even going to make it to the bedroom this time.

His Mama was making funny noises and moving around as Daddy's hands slipped under the robe. Both adults had their eyes shut closed and were busy trying to eat each other's faces. It was fascinating for a while, but the child soon grew hungry. The food was set on the table, just out of reach. Even his juice bottle was on the table, mockingly standing there. Wiggling around, the baby tried to get out of his seat, but he still wasn't coordinated enough for something that difficult. He tried reaching for the juice, but his short arms would never reach the bottle. Huffing unhappily, Lawliet decided to unleash his secret weapon.

"WAHHHHHHHH!!!"

Mama and Daddy jumped up in shock. Mello's head collided with the cabinets behind him, leaving him cursing while Matt ran over to see what was wrong with his precious baby. Large crocodile tears rolled down the round cheeks while the baby pointed to his bottle.

"Aww, I'm sorry," Matt cooed, trying to soothe his son. "Here, have some juicy, ok?"

Mello slid off the counter and onto the floor, rubbing his head and trying to keep the tears from slipping down his own cheeks. Mama hated to cry. "Fucking bitch, Matt, you bit me."

"Sorr- ooh! You made muffins!" Yes, Daddy had a one-track mind, and food was usually up at the top of his list.

A warm soft muffin was sliced up by Mama and put on his little tray. Thick fingers scooped up the tasty breakfast and shoved it into his face, thankfully getting a little more than usual into his mouth.

_**7: 58 AM**_

Well, Daddy had been late to work again, but after Mama chased him out of the house, he let his son sleep on the bed with him. Nearly two hours later, the boy woke up sleepily. Looking around and not seeing his mother, he began to whimper. It was always scary if he didn't have one of his parents around him at all times. It reminded him of his last parents. They left him alone too, and never came back.

"Mama!" he called out, beginning to cry.

In only a few seconds, warm arms were wrapped around him and the familiar voice soothed him. "Shh, shh, what's wrong?"

Mello continued to rock his baby while Lawliet cried on his chest. His little fingers dug into the soft shirt, making sure that the man holding him was real. After a few minutes, he calmed down some, and just sniffled softly. This Mommy hadn't ever abandoned him. He was always there, always taking care of him.

Not understanding his child's worries, Mello just carried him downstairs and set him in the play pen. Once that was accomplished, he went back to work on cleaning. Call him obsessive compulsive, but he just liked to have everything spotless. Besides, there wasn't much else to do when you were all alone in the house all day. That train of thought made him snort as he recalled Matt's accusations yesterday. What would make that ass think that he would cheat on him? True, he was a former head of the Mafia, but even then he wasn't considered loose.

"Ugh, I'm going to have to mow the lawn today," the blond grumbled as he looked out at the gathering clouds. "And if I don't get my ass in gear, it'll be raining before I get done."

Running upstairs, he quickly got dressed in some thigh high shorts and a snug fitting t-shirt. Why was he mowing the lawn? Wasn't the "man" of the house (being Matt) supposed to do things like that? Grumbling, he headed down. Before he could walk out though, Lawliet began to complain again.

"No, Mama," he whined as he tried to crawl out of his little prison.

"Sorry, but I can't take you out with me."

"No!" the boy cried, doing his best to imitate his mother's infamous hissy fits.

"I said no," Mello stated firmly. "Now I can put you in your walker, but that's it. Ok?"

Puffing out his cheeks in disapproval, Lawliet pouted even when he was set into his walker. Refusing to look at his mother, he began moving away and towards the kitchen. Sliding around the tile was a lot easier than on the carpet. Mello just shook his head and went out to take care of the perfect lawn.

Cutting grass, a special skill passed down through humankind. Unfortunately, that skill had not been passed down well enough to the Slovenian. He always took forever to cut the grass because he had to first figure out how to use the new lawnmower that Matt would invariably buy. This one had been bought a few weeks ago since the last lawnmower ended up crumpled like a soda can. Don't ask why.

"Why do they make these things so complicated?" Mello hissed as he began to examine the new machine.

While the blond was busy trying to use his intelligence for the task at hand, Lawliet had made his way to the front door which was sitting slightly open. In his rush to get the grass cut before it rained, Mello had failed to properly close it. A grin spread across the boy's face as he fought to get outside like the big boy he was. Besides, Mama was out there, so it would be ok. By the time he managed to roll out of the house safely and onto the sidewalk, the sound of a roaring engine filled the still air. Mama was standing over a funny looking thing, looking quite pleased with himself.

The small boy's eyes widened in surprise as a car rounded the corner and stopped in front of their house. A man jumped out and brandishing a flashlight, he rushed over to the ignorant blond who was still bent over the mower. Horror flashed through the child's eyes as he watched the man swing the metal thing at Mama. It connected with the back of Mello's head and the young man crumpled to the ground immediately.

"Mommy!!!" the child screamed. "Mama!"

Looking up in surprise, the man realized that the child was outside. Cursing his luck, he gave the limp body a kick and ran to the screaming boy. The last thing he needed was for all the neighbors to go calling the cops because the damn kid was making so much noise. Snatching the boy from the walker, he ran back to the old car to make his escape. Lawliet continued to scream in terror. There was red liquid pooling on the cement around his mother's head, but his view was cut off as he was shoved to the floor of the passenger side of the car. The strange man tore out of the neighborhood, wiping his sweaty forehead with a bandaged hand.

"Damn it," he screamed as he slammed the wheel with his good hand. "Fucking kid, I didn't have time to kill that bastard!" Lawliet only cried even louder. Mama was hurt and this mean person took him away. What was going to happen?

_**9: 17 AM**_

"Holy shit!" A familiar voice was somewhere above, but Mello couldn't gather his thoughts. His head hurt too much. "Fuck, you're bleeding too much. Mello? Come on buddy, are you ok?"

Ugh, whoever that was, was royally pissing him off. "Fuck ne sveže, pankrt"**(1) **he groaned in his native tongue. "Kdo hudiča ste vi nekako?"**(2)**.

"Damn, this is worse than I was hoping," the voice commented. "Your speech is all garbled up. Can. You. Understand. Me?"

It took Mello a few more minutes before he was able to even think in English. Still the pressure on his head was excruciating enough that he was having difficulty stringing any sentences together. "W-what's going on?" he forced out, the effort sending another wave of pain through his head. Everything was dark, but that was easily explained since most of the pain was coming from the back of his head.

"It's me, Dan. What happened, Mello?"

Dan? Oh, that pussy called a cop. Wait, what was he doing here? Did the lawnmower get the best of him? "Ugh, I was j-just gonna mow the lawn."

"There was no way a lawnmower managed to whack you across the back of the head with something heavy and hard," the police officer stated. "Now, I'm going to move you to the house, so just tough it out, ok? It won't take long."

The house? Wait, Lawliet was inside the house. Why couldn't he hear his baby crying or whining? "Is Lawliet crying?" he asked hoping that his head just hurt too much to hear the boy.

"Uh, no, there's no sound."

Panic settled in the blond's stomach. "Fuck! We need to find him! Lawliet!" Still unable to see, the European began struggling; his maternal instincts were kicked on overdrive and he needed to find his son. Unfortunately, Dan had other thoughts.

"Whoah, there! Just wait a damn minute, kid! Let me set you down somewhere you won't hurt yourself, and I'll find him." Swallowing hard, Mello decided to just take this guy's advice for once.

"Y-you're speaking pretty well for someone with a broken nose," he mumbled as he was set on the familiar couch.

"Er, yeah, well this isn't the first time I've had a broken nose. Now, let me find Lawliet, ok?"

The truth was, Dan had seen that empty walker in the front of the door and he was afraid that the child was no where in the house. Still, it would be better to confirm it before sending this boy into a fit. It didn't take long to go through the orderly house, and confirming his fears, he found no trace of the boy.

"Where is he?" Mello asked softly, panic making each syllable tremble. He wanted to scream and kick and just find his baby.

"He's not here," Dan replied honestly. "I…well, I don't even know what the heck happened! Who attacked you?"

"I don't know!" he screamed, tears threatening to slip down his face. "Near, I need to call Near! Get me the damn phone!"

The command was followed and soon Mello was yelling into the phone at someone called Near. Dan just stood around trying to find any clue as to what happened. It just looked like someone hit Mello in the back of the head while he was working on the lawnmower and then stole the child. Who would do that? As soon as Mello hung up, Dan decided to question him some more. "Who was that?"

Hugging himself, Mello shook his head. It seemed like his vision was starting to come back slowly. "A friend. He's a detective and can help."

"This is insane," the police officer mumbled. "Now, here, let me take care of that head wound before you bleed to death."

_**10:31 AM**_

Lawliet was scared. A swelling bruise was painted over his left cheek where the man had slapped him for crying too much. They were in some weird building that smelled funny and had little cards as the key to the door. He was sitting on the hard bed while the man paced around in front of the television. The news was on, but there was nothing about his Mama. Was Mama ok?

As soon as he started to sniffle again, the man shot him a glare. "Shut the hell up, kid, or I'll gut you and just leave you as a little present for that fucking he-she."

Covering his mouth, Lawliet really did try to be silent, but it was hard. He wanted Mama and Daddy to hold him and to make everything better, but no one came. There was no one but this meanie. The man's image flashed across the screen, catching the child's eyes. The news lady was saying that he had tried to steal from a grocery store and was caught by the police. Unfortunately, he escaped when they were trying to transport him and so they were looking for him. That's why he was such a jerk.

Looking up with defiant eyes, the boy watched the man pace some more as he cursed his luck. The sound of rain hitting the window was the only other sound in the small room. Soon, the man decided to leave so that he could buy plastic trash bags. Lawliet didn't understand what that meant, but it resulted in his being left all alone. The man threatened to hit him again if he didn't stay quiet, then left.

Waiting a few minutes to make sure that the man really did leave, Lawliet crawled over to the door. Sitting down next to it, he gathered his strength and screamed at the top of his lungs. Someone would have to come and see what was going on, and then they would be able to take him to his Mama. At least, that's what he was hoping would happen.

_**11:03 AM**_

"All right, I just got a call that Hayden was spotted at a hardware store thirty minutes from here," Gevanni called out to his boss who was sitting in the middle of the living room floor.

"Let's see, that's a Lowe's," Lidner informed the others as she hacked into their security videos.

"Is Lawliet with him?" Mello asked. Although he was obviously worried, he kept his feelings bottled up.

"No, I don't see any child with him," Lidner replied. "He's buying trash bags, though."

"Then we don't have much time," Near stated. Everyone turned to face him. "Rester, please get our car ready. Mello will be coming with us as well. Mr. Dan?"

The police officer who had been standing there stupidly looking at the high tech equipment that had been dragged into the house and also looking at all the strange people finally snapped to attention. "Yes?"

"Would you kindly call some friends of yours in the law enforcement office and have them pull over this man for speeding? His license plate number is 84TS33R."

"Sure, I can handle that."

"Very well. Gevanni, please find the hotel he is staying at and call me with that information. Rester and Lidner, you are coming with me and Mello. Mr. Dave, I think it would be best for you to stay here."

Dan shook his head. "I can't just sit around here. I'm coming with you guys."

Near rolled his eyes and held his robot toy closer. "You'll just be getting in the way."

"No I won't!" the police officer shouted in his defense. He was a good officer and he would be an asset to them. "I know what I'm doing, and I'm trained for these situations."

"Don't argue with him," Mello whispered to Near. "Let's just get my baby."

"Fine, but Rester will baby sit you," Near retorted.

Just as they were all leaving, Mello's new cell phone began ringing. Looking to see who it was, Mello cursed under his breath and flipped it open. "What do you want, Matt? No. Ok, fine, I won't make dinner. Yes, everything's fine! See you then." Sighing, he flipped it shut and looked over at the pale boy. "We need to get this done quickly."

"Why didn't you tell him the truth?" Near questioned as they all took their places in the vehicle. "I'm sure that he would appreciate knowing that his son was kidnapped by a criminal on the run after he attempted to murder you.

Mello just scowled. "I don't want to worry Matt. He'll just get in the fucking way. That and he doesn't need to know about someone getting the jump on me."

"But I know," Near reasoned. "Shouldn't your boyfriend know, then?"

"Just shut up, Near," Mello sighed. "Please, I just want my kid back."

_**11:36 AM**_

Thankfully, someone did come in. It wasn't his mother or his father, but Lawliet was more than happy to be with anyone that wasn't that evil man. Instead, a dark woman who spoke a funny language took him out of the room and into the "staff lounge" where a group of women were. They all spoke that funny language and were all wearing ugly clothes. Still, they were an improvement, so he just tried to stay quiet. Surely Mama would be able to find him soon.

That is, if he came at all. What if he never came back? Would one of these ladies keep him? That thought brought tears to the child's eyes. He was so happy with Mama and Daddy and he didn't want anyone else. They were always getting him toys and playing with him. Mama made delicious food, and Daddy would let him play on the bed when Mama wasn't looking. Why did he have to be taken away?

By now, crying was becoming tiring. Tears rolled down silently and one of the ladies held him up to her plump chest. It was nothing like Mama's firm and comforting chest, but it was better than being alone. His salty tears soaked through the material of her shirt, but she continued to rub his back and say soft things.

At the same time, Mello and the others were in the middle of a confrontation with the man that had caused all of this. He had been shooting at anyone who approached him, so they were all just sitting around. This didn't set well with Mello.

"Let me sneak around," he whispered harshly to Near, but the younger boy shook his head.

"That would be stupid. After all, you're in no condition to do anything. Your head injury is serious. What if you passed out?"

"I won't!"

"I'll go," Dan shot in. "I'm not hurt, and I can do it."

"I wouldn't trust you to buy me a new toy," Near replied harshly. "I could easily overlook the fact that Mello kicked your ass, but you were beaten up by Matt too. That's just ridiculous."

The police officer's face flushed red in anger and embarrassment. "I don't need your damn permission!" Standing up, he moved to try to flank the criminal. Before Rester could manhandle him, Near surprised everyone by taking things into his own hands. He grabbed one of Dan's shoelaces and tugged sharply, knocking the man off balance. Once he was flat on his face, Near sat on him to prevent any further movement.

"If you attempt to knock me off, I give Rester full permission to knock your teeth out."

One look at the heavily built man, and Dan decided it would be much better to just let the boy sit on him. At least he wasn't gaining a black eye or any other injury.

"Now that that's taken cared of, what are we going to do?" Mello hissed. "He could have already done something to Lawliet! I'll kill him if he did!"

"Calm down, Mello," Near sighed. "This situation is almost over."

"What do you-"

He was cut off by the sound of a gun going off and of flesh hitting metal. Everyone peeked over the car that had been serving as their protection and gaped as Gevanni stood in his impeccable suit with the kidnapper face down on the hood of his car. The gun was a few feet away, and the filthy criminal cried out in pain as the former FBI agent twisted his arm further.

"That's what I mean," Near murmured as he curled some hair around his finger.

It only took a few minutes of getting acquainted with Mello's steel toed boots before the man gave up the location of the hotel he was staying at. Although Gevanni had already informed his boss of that location, Near thought that it was just desserts after the hell that man put Mello through. Now all they had left was to locate Lawliet.

Once they reached the dingy hotel, Mello kicked in the door and began searching desperately for his son. Unfortunately, Lawliet wasn't in the room. He was no where to be found. Before the Slovenian had a break down and blew the entire place up, Lidner was able to talk to the service maids, and they brought out the whimpering child.

Lawliet had never thought that his Mama had looked so wonderful. His blond hair was sticking up everywhere and bandage was showing from under it. Those sharp eyes softened at the sight of the boy and a few crystal tears did slip down his face. Mello ran and pulled the dirty child into his arms, actually sobbing in relief. Seeing his mother cry, Lawliet began to cry too and he held on desperately, promising himself that he would never let Mama go ever again.

"M-mama!" he choked out. "No go, no go."

"I'm n-not going anywhere," Mello hiccupped, kissing his son's soft cheeks. "Ljubim te,"**(3)** he whispered between kisses. "Ljubim te."

When Near noticed the bruising on the child's face, he informed Rester to take care of their prisoner. It really did pay off to be the successor to a world famous detective.

_**2:01 PM**_

"Mello! I'm home!"

The sound of Daddy's voice made the small child perk up. After they got home, Mama had taken him straight to the bath and scrubbed him clean. Once that was over, his tired Mama pulled him onto the bed for a nice long nap. The funny guy called Near had his people clean up their gadgets and when they left, the living room looked completely normal.

Rubbing his eyes, Lawliet noticed that his Mama was sound asleep. That bump on his head really made him tired. Yawning, he decided that he should call his Daddy up. "Mwah!" he shouted, hoping that his Daddy would get the hint. Sure enough, he did.

Walking in, Matt smiled when he saw Mello sprawled over the bed with a hand protectively around his baby. It didn't take long for him to notice the bruise on his son's face, though, and he rushed over to inspect the wound. Biting his lip, he gently tilted the boy's face, getting a closer look. It looked to big to be cause by one of Mello's slaps, so what happened? Just as he reached over to shake Mello's shoulder, he noticed the bloody bandages.

"What the fuck?" he hissed, shaking Mello awake. "Mels, what the hell happened?"

Bleary eyes opened and stared blankly at Matt for a moment before the blond recognized his lover. Sitting up hurriedly, he pulled Lawliet protectively to his chest and looked to the side guiltily. He knew that Matt would notice the wounds, but he still didn't want to worry him. Unfortunately, he knew that Matt wouldn't let him off the hook.

"Well, uh, some guy took a flashlight to the back of my head, and, er, sort of took Lawliet. But we got him back!"

"What?!" Matt screeched in horror. Why was he the last one to know about these things? "Who the…no, fuck, you…why didn't you tell me?!"

Mello refused to meet his worried boyfriend's eyes. "I just…didn't want to bother you."

"Are you crazy?! You may be some tough ass guy, but Mello, Lawliet's my _son_ and you're my lover! Finding out that you guys have been hurt isn't a bother! Fuck, what if…what if one of you died? I couldn't live with myself!"

"But we're fine!" Mello snapped back. He hated himself for letting such a terrible thing happen to his baby. On top of that, he was scared that Matt would blame him for being such a terrible mother.

"That's not the point, babe," Matt replied softly. It was obvious that Mello was blaming himself for the strange circumstances. "I know that you're all tough shit, but you're not the only one who cares for him. Yes, I can get in the way and I tend to overreact, but that's just part of me."

"You…don't hate me for losing him?" Mello asked, afraid of the answer he would get.

Matt couldn't help but smile. "Hey, I don't even know the facts of what happened, but I can honestly say that it doesn't matter. I would _never_ hate you, Mello. I know how much you care for Lawliet, and I know that you would never let him get hurt or taken away if there was any choice in the matter."

"But-"

"No, you're right. You got him back safely, and that's all that matters." The younger man leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lover's lips. His cold hand stroked his child's soft hair and he couldn't help but mumble a "thank you" to whatever god watched over his family.

_**7:15 PM**_

After hearing what had happened, Matt struggled to decide if his plan to propose to Mello would be better if it was postponed. After consulting with his clingy son, they decided that it would be best to just carry on with the plans. Who knows, maybe it would actually cheer up the blond.

Daddy dressed his son up in the nicest little suit Lawliet owned. It was the same suit he wore after his baptismal. Once his unruly hair was combed back, the chubby boy watched as his father got to work on primping himself up. He really worked hard to get his hair just right and he even washed his hands and face until they were Mama's standard of clean. Once that was taken cared of, Daddy got dressed in his best clothes. Dark skinny jeans hugged his legs and clean combat boots were laced over them. Instead of the familiar stripes, Matt pulled on a snug green t-shirt and a suit jacket over that. Lawliet had to clap in approval. Daddy was looking pretty spiffy.

"Mels, are you almost done?' Matt called out as he spritzed some cologne on. Looking at his expectant son, he spritzed a little on the boy too. There, they both smelt wonderful.

"Yeah, just a minute."

Mama always took the longest to get ready. He was so pretty that he had to make sure that everything was just perfect. Lawliet was sure that the term was "vanity" or something like that. Still, Mama always made heads turn when he was finished getting "dolled up" as Daddy called it.

This time wouldn't be any different, that was for sure. Mello walked in the room from the other bathroom. His blond hair was shiny and let loose to frame his beautiful face. Dress pants fitted tightly around his hips and legs and his black sleeveless shirt was enough to make Daddy drool. Lawliet had to tug on the brunette's pants to get him snap out of it.

"Damn, looking good, Mello," he complimented breathlessly. Of course, his thoughts weren't nearly as clean as his son's; he was staring at that perfect ass and trying not to get too aroused. Fuck, he wanted to just bend Mello over the couch and take him, but that was not something he could do at the moment. No, he had a mission to accomplish tonight. If it turned out well, he would be having more than enough gratuity sex.

Mello looked over the other two boys and frown slightly. "You're awfully dressed up, Mattie, and you even combed Lawliet's hair. What's going on?"

"Nothing," Matt replied with a wide smile. "I just want to take you out to a fancy place! It'll be fun!"

Still not believing his lover, Mello just went along with out. After all, both of his boys looked so darn good. "Here, let me have Lawliet."

All three of them got into the fancy orange car Matt adored. Lawliet was strapped into his car seat and then they were off to some place called Palace Steak House. During the entire ride, Mello kept fussing over his son, making sure that he was comfortable and still safe. It was sad and cute all at the same time.

Finally, they made it to the said restaurant. The bright lights and colorful plants made the boy gawk in surprise. Everything was just so beautiful! Just as Mama pulled open the door, some guy in a red vest appeared at his side. "Here, let me help you out, Ma'am," the man said offering his arm.

Lawliet watched in amusement as a vein popped up on his mother's forehead before he proceeded to teach that poor guy a lesson. Once that man was successfully stuffed into a near by trash can, Mama flipped his hair back and pulled Lawliet out of his car seat. Daddy threw his keys to a scared looking guy wearing the same vest that other man was wearing, and they all walked into the restaurant.

_**8:07 PM**_

The food had been good and Mama had successfully scared off two waiters already. Lawliet got to taste mashed potatoes for the first time, and Matt ordered Mello a hearty steak. Giggle, Lawliet couldn't help but notice that the look on his mother's face was almost identical to the look he had on once he finished playing games with Daddy. Matt didn't have any meat, himself, but he thought that Mello definitely deserved a little something for saving their son.

"Did you like the food?" the brunette asked as he stroked his lover's hand.

"Yeah," Mello said with a contented sigh. He rubbed his belly fondly and Lawliet mimicked the move making both his parents smile.

"Foofh," he said with a large smile. Matt leaned over and gave his son a kiss on the head, but at the same time, he sneakily set a little box in his son's hand.

"Hey, Mello?"

"Hmm?"

Daddy's blush was visible, even in the soft lighting and it made Lawliet giggle even more. His father really did love Mama and it made his face red all the time.

"Er, I uh, well, how long have we been together?"

Raising an eyebrow, Mama thought about that. "I don't know, do you mean, like, since we were at Wammy's? Or how long we've been having sex?"

At the mention of sex, Daddy turned even redder and he fidgeted with his gloved hands. "I mean, my point is, we've been together for a long time, right?"

"Yes," Mello replied slowly, not really seeing where this was going. Matt wasn't going to break up with him, was he?

"A-and, you want to stay we me for a long time, right?" Matt pulled off his goggles and set them down on the table so that his blue eyes could stare straight into Mello's eyes.

"Y-yes," Mello gulped. Matt was being weird, and dear lord, his eyes were gorgeous. "W-what's going on?"

Seeing his Daddy nod to him, Lawliet pushed the little black box in front of his mother. Mello looked down at the box in surprise. Shaking a little, his hands opened up the box to reveal a metal band with the word "Forever" carved in it. Mello gasped and for a moment was left speechless.

"Mello," Matt said softly, "will you marry me? I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to, but I just thought that-"

The rest of Daddy's ranting was cut off as Mama lunged over the table and gave him the biggest, wettest, kiss ever. Lawliet's mouth dropped open as he watched his parents hold each other tightly and kiss with their tongues. Sticking out his own tongue, he wondered if that was normal.

Sighing happily, the small boy continued to watch his parents. Although sometimes everything wasn't perfect, and he was still scared to be left alone, Lawliet couldn't help but be glad that he had this family. He had a pretty Mama and a silly Daddy, and they both loved him more than anything else. It really wasn't so bad being the baby in this family.

**Author's Notes: (1) "Fuck off, bastard" in Slovene. (2) "Who the hell are you anyway?" (3) "I love you."**

**Also, I just made up that Gevanni was an FBI member because I don't have a clue as to what he was before the SPK. That and this story is AU anyway. Also, Mello got hit in the head with a freakin' flashlight **_**and**_ **he's in Mommy-mode, so he wasn't as kick ass as he was in the first chapter. I did this on purpose to show another side of him as well as to give Near a chance to dish out some ass kicking in his own unique way. So, poor Dan the police man got pwned by Mello, Matt, and Near. Poor, poor man. Oh, and Matt was such a dork when proposing! –huggles him- **

**I hope you all enjoyed this three-shot! Thank you to everyone who read/reviewed/alerted/favorited! 3 3 3 **


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